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"In a good year, he makes maybe $18,000." If that's the case, sign me up.
"They haven’t talked to... their home insurance company, or even a third party appraiser to help negotiate with whatever estimate TVA gives them." WHAT ARE THEY WAITING FOR? I would have called the insurance company the day after the spill!
"those bumps in the night are most likely to be infected." Brilliant. Loved it.