The Sleepy Yet Stupendously Honest Drug Addict

People flock to Knoxville for all sorts of reasons, even ones that don't involve football. For instance, in the early hours of Sept. 7, a woman ventured to Knoxville all the way from Strawberry Plains on a special mission. Tired from her quest in the big city, she fell asleep in her motel room on East Magnolia Avenue at around 3 a.m. She woke around 9 a.m. to find that her car was gone.

Naturally, she called the police. When they arrived, they asked her why she was visiting Knoxville, and she did not hesitate to answer: to buy crack.

She told officers that she had not locked her car and that her keys had been in plain sight within her hotel room. But, lucky for her, she later saw her vehicle being driven on Magnolia—by a man that she recognized from her drug-buying transaction! An amazing coincidence? When asked by officers if she had traded the car for drugs (possibly under the new "Crack for Clunkers" program), the woman insisted that she did not (probably due to all of the required paperwork).

There was a happy ending to our adventurer's story, though, as police found the vehicle abandoned on the 2700 block of Magnolia about an hour later. She did not pursue the matter and told police she just wanted her car back. Becoming emotional with the officers, she also said that she needed to go to rehab...