Police Fill in Very Important Blanks, Drunken Woman Un-Tased

A woman scorned called police from a pay phone in East Knoxville on Thursday, July 9, telling them she had taken some pills and was holding a broken steak knife to her stomach. Upon arrival police found the woman to be highly intoxicated. She told police her boyfriend was "dead," but officers took this to mean that the woman had realized her tumultuous relationship was over, as in "dead to me." They had encountered the woman before this incident because of habitual fights with the boyfriend. The suicidal woman insisted that police shoot her with their tasers. The officers declined the offer. She eventually put down the knife and was then transported to a hospital for a mental evaluation.