The Knoxville Zoo's Looking for a Few Good Volunteers

With Valentine's Day approaching, are you feeling lonely? Perhaps a bit misanthropic? Are you looking for comfort in a life-form that will just listen, that won't tell you it's tired of hearing about your "stupid" story ideas, and that the alt-weekly you write for "isn't that great, anyway"?

Well! You're in luck! The Knoxville Zoo is looking for a few good men, women and animal-loving youths at its volunteer fair this Saturday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.

According to the press release, duties for volunteers include "helping with summer camp and educational outreach programs as well as assisting with visitor education. Volunteers can also be involved in everything from animal interpretations, special events, and assisting keepers." The job of assisting keepers is obviously a coveted one, but zoo spokeswoman Tina Rolen says it's for a "very special person." In other words, show up early and don't be afraid to box out a snotty 12-year-old if she starts talkin' like it's gonna be her, cause it ain't.

Current zoo volunteers will be on hand to describe their work and what sorts of things to expect. Those interested can check in at the zoo's ranger station, to the right of the ticket window, where they'll be directed to the Lee Congleton Conference Center .