There are no topless bars in Knoxville, Tennessee. All our bars live in the woods. Eat honey, leaves. Although they are classified as meat-eaters, bars do enjoy a drink now and then. They're mostly carnivores, or meat-eaters, bears are really omnivores, like we are.
All the bars we got have four legs, a snout. And they say grrrr.
They eat read meat and plants. About 90% of the bar's diet of eastern black bears is plants - grasses, leaves, buds, flowers, mushrooms, berries and other fruits, and nuts, including acorns. Most of the protein they eat is insects.
Sometimes a couple of hamburgers, maybe a hotdog from campers. Of course, their diet does vary according to the opportunities available.
Bugs, flies, grasshoppers, grubs and the occasional insurance salesman.
All our bars are fully dressed. Fur all over head to foot. Stand about six foot tall. Davy Crockett killed a bar when he was youngster. And you know it wasn't a topless bar. Grrrr.
—evangelicalspectator.typepad.com, June 03, 2008