Knoxville: City of Retirees

Despite the indisputable, stone-cold fact that Knoxville is the #6 city in the country where the most people have heart attacks, Livability.com dares to suggest that our deadly metropolis is actually the seventh-best place to retire! Can you believe it? This is not just another online Survey Intended to Get Media Attention™, this is a death sentence for the trusting retirees who move here! Just how does Livability.com justify its outrageous ranking? "Knoxville's rolling hills, historic architecture and college town vibe create an innovative atmosphere," claims the site. Well thank heavens private and public entities are getting rid of all that historic architecture stuff before it lures in more soon-to-be-coronary victims.