Fountain City Woman: I'll Kill My Neighbor First

Last week, according to a Knoxville Police Department report, officers received a call from one of the women in an ongoing feud in a Fountain City condo complex, who claimed that her neighbor was trying to kill her. But this time, instead of citing mace as the weapon of choice, the woman vehemently asserted that she believed her neighbor was spraying a mysterious chemical on her walls that was causing her to become ill. Also, she reported that the neighbor had installed gadgets throughout her home to eavesdrop on her.

Upon their arrival at the residence, police found no unusual odors or evidence that James Bond-caliber electronic equipment had been installed. After assuring the woman that her life was not in danger, the woman replied, "I'm not going to let her kill me, I'll kill her first."

Oddly, this is not the sort of thing you'd ever see on a sitcom like Three's Company.