incoming (2006-31)

Yeah, We’ll Second That One

Overlooked Legacy

Surveys Say Something

Editorial Mudslinging

Have Barrel, Will Conserve

The Evolution Debate, Cont.

Joe Acree

Overlooked Legacy

Cynthia Markert

Surveys Say Something

The unsigned editorial denounces the use of surveys for the views of judges, even though it could be useful in helping to find biased decisions as judges are less likely to uphold laws they do not agree with than ones they do. The editorial also makes the sweeping claim that everyone wants “activist” judges for their own cause, even though activist judges primarily benefit the minority viewpoint as the judiciary is the only avenue to make quick advances for their own cause.

Andrew Norris

Editorial Mudslinging

Rosalind Andrews

Have Barrel, Will Conserve

While manicured lawns (and the required evening waterings) are rare, a small yard garden is a common sight in Belgium. So when I read Leslie Wylie’s article on water conservation [“Watering the South,” July 27], it reminded me of another common sight there: the rain barrel. These 50-gallon barrels simply trap runoff water from the roof and have a small spigot at the bottom for easy use. An incredible amount of water can be collected from one good rain—enough to fill several watering cans. 

I must hand it to Davidson County, Tenn.: They have a program that gives rain barrels to residents free of charge, and it’s been so popular that there is currently a waiting list! What’s up, Knox County? You know water usage in the summer is sky high; why not put a similar program in place to start encouraging the water conservation we know is in our future?

Mary Lucal

The Evolution Debate, Cont.

I’m so impressed by Mr. Mark Landis’ vast knowledge and absolute certainty about scientific theories such as evolution and statistical mechanics, UT should endow a Chair of Omniscience for him. You know, settle minor questions like whether gravity is really a warp in spacetime, or in space and time. He could explain stuff like either we have entropy or we have evolution. How much simpler can you get? Can’t have it both ways, you know. Clearly he knows far more science than Rikki Hall [That’s Wild, June 22, “Be Fruitful and Evolve”], who unfortunately seems to harbor a few niggling doubts about the absolute certainty of his knowledge. Besides, he doesn’t even wear a suit! Clearly a vastly inferior being to those who have been enlightened by Jesus, and get to have suits and SUVs and vote Republican.

In fact, Mr. Landis is evidently so well-informed by Jesus that he seems to know more than even Nobel Laureates in biology and chemistry. Watson & Crick must have just made up all that nonsense about genetic material and the double helix and how it works. I mean, they’re drawings for chrissakes! Ever really seen one? What a hoot! All those textbooks, and all we needed was a Bible! Go figure.

Given his close relationship with Jesus, Mr. Mark Landis must certainly know better than doctors and hospitals that they needn’t worry about silly ungodly liberal conspiracies such as “superbugs” (ha, ha, ha), and drug resistant strains of staph and TB evolving (snort!). I’m sure he’d be happy to explain to their patients, and to the FDA and the CDC, that it’s just their imagination or lack of faith in Jesus making them believe that the old drugs are no longer curing their infections. Gotta be something wrong with the drugs, too old or something. Or maybe patients just need to pray harder!  I’m sure Mr. Landis could run a hospital better than the doctors, and not waste all that money on new antibiotics. What a scam!

Perhaps Mr. Mark Landis should also explain farmers’ deep ignorance and ungodly superstitions to them. What dummies. They evidently are laboring under the idiotic notion that insects have evolved some silly pesticide resistances. I mean, whoever would have thought farmers were so stupid and gullible as to believe such nonsense as evolution? Clearly, godless secular humanist liberals have got to them. I mean, godless secular humanist liberals must be popping up in corn fields all over the Midwest! Diabolic. Farmers are mistaken and just need to pray harder. And keep an eye out when they are in the cornfields. I mean, nobody’s ever seen the bones of an intermediary insect before it morphed into this silly pesticide-resistant version, have they? Huh? Have they? Well, there ya go!

Oh, and I’m sure Mr. Lands takes last decade’s flu shot, and makes certain his children aren’t misled by any of those liberal, godless hoaxes like getting this year’s flu shot. I mean, one flu shot, that should do it for life, right? I don’t believe I’ve ever met anyone as omniscient as Mr. Landis. Heck, even Einstein was ignorant and dimwitted by comparison.

We should just stop all this silly science right here. Clearly we’ve figured out all the important stuff anyway, like gun powder and riding lawn mowers and how to microwave a chicken. The rest is clearly so complex that if we haven’t figured it out by now, we just need to come to Jesus. Forget those people all over the world dying of all sorts of genetic diseases. Must not love Jesus enough.

In fact, the only people I’ve ever met who were as incredibly knowledgeable and certain of their science as Mr. Mark Landis is have been... uh, atheists.

Robert Loest

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