Halloween Fiction: The Listserv... From HELL

A mysterious transcript of an online neighborhood forum

Recently, we received this strange transcript of a conversation on a local neighborhood listserv—sent to us anonymously. We're not sure what it means, or who the parties are, but it was intriguing enough that we decided to include it in this week's special Halloween issue.

JERRYl2 Oct. 12

[37917] New Neighbor!

Hello! I just moved here from South Dakota a few weeks ago and I'm so glad there's a listserve here! We had one in Ediston and...

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BRENDA Oct. 12

Re: [37917] loose dog

I saw it too, on Eleanor and Gratz.

> Did anyone else see that big black dog running around the neighborhood? I think it was ra...

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HelenSAYL Oct. 13

Re: [37917] loose dog

Called the pound, but they said they don't do pickups anymore. The Police?

>Did anyone else see that big black dog running…

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JorgaZ Oct. 13

Re: [37917] loose dog

I saw a huge black dog wandering around Gratz, looked like it might have been rabid.

> Called the pound, but they said they don't do pickups anymore! The Police?

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JorgaZ Oct. 16

Re: [37917] loose dog

There was another loose dog the other day that the pound took in (before they stopped??) that matched that description...

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Darlene Oct. 16

Re: [37917] Happy Hollerpalooza

When is the food co-op supposed to move in there? I don't understand why it's taking so long, I just want to be able...

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KPAK Oct. 18

Re: [37917] loose dog - CRAZY

It sounds really weird, but I was out on my porch last night, and I heard what sounded like a dog fight and it...

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Zimmermans Oct. 19

Re: [37917] loose dog - CRAZY

It chased my friends home last night down Luttrell. I don't understand why no one is taking care of it. I ran inside…

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NutNutster Oct. 19

[37917] Dog bites

My nephew was bit by a raccoon last night and got rabies shots at the ER. I feel like maybe this big dog has something to do with…

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Timothy64 Oct. 19

Re: [37917] Dog bites

Yeah, I was outside at my garden this weekend and kept hearing this awful cat groaning outside and I made a beeline for th...

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SamanthaTAY Oct. 19

Re: [37917] loose dog - CRAZY

I think it belongs to that new guy who moved into that shabby house on Gratz. He isn't keeping it chained...

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KRULLXX2 Oct. 19

Re: [37917] loose dog - CRAZY

Don't bother me. Don't.

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EDNA Oct. 20

[37917] MY DOG IS MISSING!

FRIENDLY, SWEET-NATURED AKITA, ANSWERS TO "BOO-BOO" -- PLEASE CALL...

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AARONK Oct. 21

Re: [37917] MY DOG IS MISSING

They finally found it near the playground -- it's a good things kids weren't playing there, it was quite a mess...

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SamanthaTAY Oct. 21

Re: [37917] loose dog - CRAZY

Has anyone else seen the new guy on Gratz, or am I the only one? Maybe I just imagined him...

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FredSmurd Oct. 21

[37917] Homeless Situation

I think we can all agree that our part of town is already burdened enough. Accidents like these are evidence enough that...

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SamanthaTAY Oct. 21

Re: [37917] Homeless Situation

I heard the police are investigating it as a homicide, and they questioned that new guy...

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CarlaGr Oct. 21

Re: [37917] loose dog - CRAZY

Has anyone noticed that there are fewer cats in the neighborhood? I'm serious! I don't even like...

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SamanthaTAY Oct. 21

Re: [37917] Homeless Situation

One of my friends works the morgue and he said it took three separate body bags. So I don't think it was an "accident." They found some of the parts on that new person's lawn...

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JennifAp Oct. 23

[37917] Anyone Seen the Taylors?

Have they gone on vacation? I'm supposed to get their mail when they go out of town, but they didn't tell me they were leaving...

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Zing Oct. 23

Re: [37917] Anyone Seen the Taylors?

Have you tried knocking on their door?

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JennifAp Oct. 23

Re: [37917] Anyone Seen the Taylors?

Are you being a smartass? Of course I did -- it wasn't locked, so I poked my head in, but no one answered. It's a little strange...

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SARAHILLIST89 Oct. 24

Re: [37917] Homeless Situation

The newspaper reports whatever the police department tells them to report. There have been three of these killings in two weeks -- they have got to be...

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DOGLOVER Oct. 24

Re: [37917] Homeless Situation

Missing their heads? Oh, come on! Now you're just trying to scare us! That's really difficult to do....

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LizAlber Oct. 25

RE: [37917] Anyone Seen the Taylors?

THIS IS HORRIBLE. HOW COULD IT HAPPEN IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD? I DON'T FEEL SAFE ANYMORE. WE'VE GOT TO--

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ChrissyBuck Oct. 25

RE: [37917] Anyone Seen the Taylors?

I used to be against guns, but now I think I'll go to Walmart today and buy the biggest shotgun I can....

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TraGr Oct. 26

RE: [37917] Anyone Seen the Taylors?

"Weird markings," that's all the article said. What the hell does "weird markings" even mean?

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HillyD12 Oct. 27

RE: [37917] Anyone Seen the Taylors?

She mentioned a new man in the neighborhood here a couple of times, before it happened. Who is this new person? Has anyone else...

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CarlaGr Oct. 28

[37917] Out of Control

There are more that've happened than they're telling us about. They just want to avoid a panic. I...

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BUBBA69 Oct. 28

Re: [37917] Out of Control

I'm locking everything I can lock. If anyone comes close enough to knock on my door, they're going to get a facefull of...

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MARILYN30 Oct. 30

[37917] Lack of New Posts

Where is everybody? The streets are empty, so you'd think everybody would be home on their computers, but...

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MARILYN30 Oct. 30

Re: [37917] Lack of New Posts

Anybody gonna reply? Anybody at all?

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MARILYN30 Oct. 30

Re: [37917] Lack of New Posts

Screw all of you! Then I'll keep it going.

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MARILYN30 Yesterday

Re: [37917] Lack of New Posts

You think maybe he's reading these?

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MARILYN30 Yesterday

Re: [37917] Lack of New Posts

You're all paranoid. I don't believe there's even a new neighbor. But if he's subscribing, I have a message for him...

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MARILYN30 12 a.m.

[37917] Help

I ;/v, vv,