April 1 Special Edition: It's Political Stuff, Knoxville!

Knox County is a hotbed of hard-right hunkdom, but even in a crowded field these four GOPleasers stand out. Your mama (and, okay, assorted other authorities) might call them bad boys. All we know is, if they're far right, we don't wanna be wrong.

Yes we RepubliCAN!

Scott "Scoobie" Moore

Ruh-Roh! We think we're in love.

LIKES:  Helping out his friends, intimate phone calls with John Valliant

DISLIKES: Sunshine! That's right, because of his thin skin, Scoobie made it a special cause to cover the entire County Commission in a high-SPF formula.

IS THERE A SPECIAL SOMEONE? Well, we don't want to spread rumors, but ... SHE knows who SHE is!

Greg "Lumpy" Lambert

Our favorite pistol-packin' papa!

LIKES: This lil' number over here, only 45,000 miles on it, all of 'em driven between home and church. Give it a spin!

DISLIKES: It's not that he dislikes the constitutional amendments other than the second one, it's just that they're not near as much fun.

IS THAT A GUN IN YOUR POCKET, OR ARE YOU JUST GLAD TO SEE US? Don't ask if you don't want to know!

Stacey "Stacey" Campfield

Crazy? You know who's crazy? Us, for Stacey Campfield!

LIKES: Well-armed college students! Now, about that C-, professor...

DISLIKES: Oh, that's a long list. Unless you hear otherwise, just assume you're on it somewhere.

ARE TENNESSEE TEACHERS REALLY TRYING TO TURN OUR KINDERGARTNERS GAY? Not if Stacey can help it!

Mike "Rags" Ragsdale

He'll always be mayor of our hearts!

LIKES: P-cards! (That's not something dirty, don't worry.)(Okay, it was kind of dirty, but not like you're thinking.)

DISLIKES: The unfairness of it all, pretty much.

WHAT'S NEXT??? After the goodwill and sterling success of the past eight years, WHO KNOWS? We figure the sky's the limit. Just don't forget we knew him when!