In This Case, McNuggets Should've Been Considered a First Option

Despite Irwin Van Grove's well-known quote, "Hunger is one of the few cravings that cannot be appeased with another solution," sometimes chicken is still the wrong answer.

According to a Knoxville Police report, last Tuesday a man woke to find his neighbor breaking into his house. When he confronted the intruder, the suspect demanded, "Give me money, or chicken!" After the man answered "no," the suspect threatened him with a pocketknife.

Then, suspect became victim: The undaunted homeowner grabbed the knife-wielding intruder, punched him, and threw him from the front porch onto a series of concrete steps. The perpetrator fled to his nearby home, where police found him in bed and bleeding from the back of his head.