Attack by Bodily Fluids

From the files of the Knoxville Police Department

Coming home to discover it's been broken into creates an instant sense of personal violation. So, just imagine the horror experienced by an East Knoxville woman who called Knoxville police after finding her home not only broken into, but also (for lack of a better term) befouled.

According to the KPD report, an intruder entered the woman's house though an unlocked garage door. He (or, heck, it could have been a she) then proceeded to:

• Urinate on the victim's bed

• Spray (or shoot?) snot onto the victim's bathroom window

• Urinate on the victim's couch

• Douse the kitchen and bathroom with Coca-Cola

And then, for the final coup de grace, he (or she!) stole the victim's cell phone. So far, police have no suspects in the rather unusual vandalism/theft case, though the woman's ex-husband is at the top of the gross list.