Knoxville's Tiki Torchbearer: Tim “Swanky” Glazner

Welcome to the Hapa Haole Hideaway—the best bar in town you’ve probably never been to. It’s just one part of Swanky’s dream to make America fall in love with tiki again.

The Hapa Haole Hideaway, Tim Glazner and Stephanie Romer's tiki palace.

Photo by David Luttrell

The Hapa Haole Hideaway, Tim Glazner and Stephanie Romer's tiki palace.

Stephanie Romer and Tim Glazner, your hosts at the Hapa Haole Hideaway.

Photo by David Luttrell

Stephanie Romer and Tim Glazner, your hosts at the Hapa Haole Hideaway.

The door leading to Tim Glazner and Stephanie Romer's tiki bar, the Hapa Haole Hideaway.

Photo by David Luttrell

The door leading to Tim Glazner and Stephanie Romer's tiki bar, the Hapa Haole Hideaway.

KON-TIKI EXPEDITION: A visit to the Hapa Haole Hideaway is a journey into authentic tiki artifacts and drinks. Chip Vassey mixes up some cocktails using original recipes and difficult-to-find ingredients.

Photo by David Luttrell

KON-TIKI EXPEDITION: A visit to the Hapa Haole Hideaway is a journey into authentic tiki artifacts and drinks. Chip Vassey mixes up some cocktails using original recipes and difficult-to-find ingredients.

According to Tim Glazner, 'this is an oratory table from the Korogo village in Papua New Guinea.'

Photo by David Luttrell

According to Tim Glazner, "this is an oratory table from the Korogo village in Papua New Guinea."

The Omni Hut in Smyrna is Tennessee's only genuine tiki survivor, established in 1960 by an Air Force pilot and still being run today by his daughter.

The Omni Hut in Smyrna is Tennessee's only genuine tiki survivor, established in 1960 by an Air Force pilot and still being run today by his daughter.

TIKI MECCA: The Mai-Kai Restaurant in Fort Lauderdale is the site of the annual Hukilau tiki convention that Tim Glazner originally co-founded in Atlanta’s Trader Vic’s in 2002.

TIKI MECCA: The Mai-Kai Restaurant in Fort Lauderdale is the site of the annual Hukilau tiki convention that Tim Glazner originally co-founded in Atlanta’s Trader Vic’s in 2002.

The Mai-Kai Mystery Bowl typically serves four, and is served by a Mystery Girl.

The Mai-Kai Mystery Bowl typically serves four, and is served by a Mystery Girl.

Photo with no caption

As with most things tiki, it begins with a cocktail: the 1934 Zombie Punch.

Created by the immortal Don the Beachcomber (aka Donn Beach, aka Ernest Raymond Beaumont-Gantt), the fruity libation is a mystery. Although it was a huge sensation, helping spawn a chain of Don the Beachcomber bars in the ’40s and ’50s—which in turn inspired countless Polynesia-soaked imitators such as Trader Vic’s, as well as a nationwide fad for tiki—the Zombie has been a riddle for generations of drinkers. That’s because America’s original mixologist shrouded his art in complete secrecy. His arcane drinks were made behind closed doors by teams of bartenders, each assembling just one part of the recipe before passing it on to the next until it was completed. The ingredients were kept in bottles labeled “number two” or “number four,” so not even his own employees knew what they were mixing together. The written recipes were encoded with fake words like “merrilop.” What the heck is merrilop? No one knew, except Don the Beachcomber.

Tim Glazner, the man they call “Swanky” in tiki circles, has one of those handwritten recipe pages framed and hung on the wall of his own personal bar, the Hapa Haole Hideaway. Tucked behind his and wife Stephanie Romer’s mid-century North Knoxville home, the Hideaway is not a commercial bar open to the public—but it does welcome tiki travelers from around the world. And it is here in these cool, dark confines that Glazner’s eyes light up as he describes “the drink that started tiki.”

“If you’ve ever had a Zombie, or made a Zombie from a recipe, you probably thought it was the most disgusting thing ever—and they are,” he says, dismissing the lesser imitations that have plagued humanity over the decades. “But it was such a popular drink, it was copied everywhere. It set things on fire. It really was so talked about that Jeff ‘Beachbum’ Berry knew it had to be a good drink. So he spent years trying to recreate it and find the real recipe.”

The nation’s foremost tiki-drink expert—author of such reference works as Beachbum Berry’s Grog Log and Beachbum Berry’s Sippin’ Safari—Berry made decoding the Zombie his personal quest, sleuthing his way through recipes in ’50s men’s magazines and books. Finally, in 2005, he managed to acquire the “little black book” of a Beachcomber employee from 1937. Inside was a coded recipe for the original Zombie Punch; it took Berry a year to crack it. But he did, and the result is served often and with pleasure at the Hideaway.

“This is the recipe that we’re drinking—not just two ingredients, this is actually 10 ingredients for one drink,” Glazner says with reverence, taking a long sip. “Grapefruit, lime, cinnamon syrup, falernum, three kinds of rum—which is a classic of tiki drinks, the blending of different rums—bitters, pernod, grenadine. But when you taste this drink, you don’t taste any of those—they’re all well balanced. You get a hint of the cinnamon, but it’s not a cinnamon drink. You get a hint of the pernod, which is kind of a licorice flavor, but it’s just barely there. And as you drink it, it will also evolve—you’ll perceive flavors that you didn’t on the first sip. This is a truly fantastic drink.”

There is no choice but to pause for a moment, close one’s eyes, and consider Swanky’s words as the quicksilver fluid slides over the tongue. He’s right: It’s fairly indescribable. There is no one word for this flavor because it’s newly formed the moment the ingredients mingle together. Nothing dominates, nothing submits—each flavor combines into a fresh whole. It’s a truly delicious concoction, one that most drinkers have not experienced in a contemporary bar. No wonder America fell in love with tiki bars and their rum-powered drinks back in the day, a fandom that reached its apex in the early ’60s when most cities had some form of tiki-style retreat from the buttoned-down mores of the time.

In the latter decades of the 20th century, however, tiki was cast aside as an uncool remnant of the postwar years, its Polynesian-influenced décor seen more as a stylistic cliché than the unfettered exotica it originally represented. But what was once kitsch has become current culture again for new generations of tiki followers who don’t so much feel nostalgia for an era they didn’t live through, but who yearn for the lifestyle that tiki represents: relaxed and happy… qualities that have proven ever more elusive in our anxious era of economic decline and “doing more with less” every day.

By following his obsession, with projects both big and small, Glazner has been helping keep the culture of tiki alive—just when we need it most.

***

The last remaining temples of tiki bear names that still spark the imagination with primal memories of island gods: The Bali Hai on Shelter Island in San Diego, the Hala Kahiki in Chicago, and perhaps greatest of all, the Mai-Kai in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. In Tennessee, the last original tiki edifice is the not-so-exotically named Omni Hut in Smyrna, near Murfreesboro, possibly the state’s oldest Chinese restaurant and still run by the daughter of the Air Force pilot who opened it in 1960. But Knoxville’s never had its own true repository of tiki until now: Ooga Mooga’s Tiki Tavern in Fort Sanders.

On the first day of its cold opening a few weeks ago, owner Daniél Leal appears exhausted from trying to be in every room of the establishment at once, attending to myriad last-minute emergencies, from arranging beach décor to hauling boxes out the front door. “I’m a very, very tired guy,” he kvetches with a friendly smile. But with his deep tan and arms’ worth of flowing tattoos revealed by a tank top, he looks like exactly the right sort of guy to introduce the “casual tiki” aesthetic to the landlocked mountain people of East Tennessee. A longtime collector of tiki mugs and a fan of tiki art, Leal says he and his wife Lori wanted to do something different with their new bar, which occupies the former home of Hawkeye’s and, more recently, Niceley’s Tavern.

“We felt like Knoxville needed a change of pace,” Leal says. “As far as the environment, we tried to embrace that feeling you get when you’re at the beach and you’ve just found your favorite bar. The style is unique. While some people may feel that it’s aimed at a certain demographic, it’s really open to everyone.”

That includes nationally known tiki experts such as Swanky, a slim, bearded 48-year-old attired in a tasteful aloha shirt crowned by a wood pendant carved by Tiki Hana dangling from his neck—a semaphore to any other tiki cognoscenti who might appear. He is optimistic about Ooga Mooga’s potential as a tiki hangout, and has conferred with Leal on the all-important cocktail menu. But Glazner is not an excitable fellow, always speaking in careful, even tones about his life’s passion, or the possibility of at last having a tiki bar in his hometown.

“I’ve talked to Daniél, and from our talks it sounds like his head is in the right place about important things like fresh-squeezed lime juice,” he says, ensconced in a booth upstairs. “If you’re going to do anything, you’ve got to at least start with fresh-squeezed lime juice.” (Leal promises true tiki drinks, including volcano bowls: “We are using a few recipes derived from some classic Beachbum books and online research, as well as a few of our own signature twists on some old favorites.”)

A punker-turned-medical-software-developer, Glazner has been collecting mid-century ephemera since arriving in Knoxville in 1982, canvassing local thrift stores for what was then a fairly abundant commodity: discarded ’50s stuff with spare, modern design. But contrasting the streamlined appliances and Danish-style furniture was always the grinning visage of Ku, Hawaiian god of war—the universal symbol of exotica adapted to thousands of products, from wall art to napkin holders. Amid the atomic age’s desire to vault into the future right now was a concurrent urge to embrace the “primitive” lifestyle of carefree Polynesia. And, despite a few decades’ worth of disdain from hippies and yuppies, it still strikes a chord today.

“A surprising number of my friends who are really into tiki used to be punk rockers,” Glazner says. “I don’t know how that came together. But it’s a lot of people my age—late 30s to late 40s, people who were coming of age in the ’80s. For me, when I was in my teens, the ’50s were still there, so many places were googie—had the architecture and the style [synonymous with ’50s diners]. I’m old enough that it’s not exactly my history, but it is in my history—the TV shows that I was watching reruns of as a kid were My Three Sons, where dad came home in a suit and tie every day. It’s not exactly anything I lived through, but it’s part of what I grew up with, my cultural consciousness.”

A trip to Atlanta in 1990 included a stop at Trader Vic’s, a vestige of the national chain once popularized by Hilton Hotels. It deepened his interest enough to start researching tiki culture and reading early zines such as Tiki News, published by Otto von Stroheim, who later started the ultimate convention for the tiki faithful: Tiki Oasis in San Diego, now in its 12th year. Stroheim also threw the closing party for the Kahiki Supper Club in Columbus, Ohio, in 2000, which Glazner attended—and he was so impressed that he decided to co-found his own tiki convention, Hukilau in Atlanta, in 2002. He expected around 25 enthusiasts to show up at Trader Vic’s—but it ended up attracting 350, which was beyond the bar’s capacity. That year was a watershed for tiki’s revival, seeing the publication of Hukilau attendee Sven Kirsten’s The Book of Tiki, which presented tiki as not only a pop-culture fad (“Polynesian Pop”) but also as an art form in itself.

At the second edition of Hukilau, now held at the Mai-Kai in Fort Lauderdale, Glazner experienced the epiphany that transformed his hobby into a passion. Built in 1956 by two brothers from Chicago who spared no expense—even hiring Don the Beachcomber’s number-two Chicago bartender, Mariano Licudine—the Mai-Kai is one of the last remaining grand palaces of tiki, with eight dining rooms and a tropical garden still intact. It also continues many of its original traditions, such as the ceremonial Mystery Drink served in a giant Mystery Bowl by a lovely Mystery Girl. The entire experience is largely unchanged since tiki’s heyday.

“When I went to the Mai-Kai in 2003, the immersive nature of that place—the otherworldliness of it, the over-the-top everything—made a lasting impression on me that I’ve carried with me since then,” Glazner recalls. “I’ve been to a few other places that gave me the same sort of feeling—a fascination, an out-of-time-and-reality sort of feeling.”

Since that turning point, Glazner has made tiki his life’s pursuit. Hukilau is now the second-largest tiki convention in the country (though he turned its management over to a business partner in 2006 after a hurricane made him realize how little he was enjoying it). He’s written articles for Tiki Magazine, started tiki websites such as The Grogalizer (dedicated to tiki drinks), published a calendar of tiki art, started the first tiki carving seminars (“Coon Tiki”), makes puffer-fish lamps for sale (“I’ve bled a lot from them.”), and has recently entered the tiki mug business with a personal-sized replica of the Mystery Bowl (“Soon I’ll go and get it and see if the factory actually did what I asked them to, or if I’ve got a big pile of expensive junk.”). Next up are two separate tiki documentaries that he contributed to, and his dream project: a book-length history of the Mai-Kai, which he’s currently researching.

But it’s that original sense of escapism he discovered at the Mai-Kai that he most savors, and what inspired his biggest tiki project: the Hapa Haole Hideaway. It has taken 10 years of collecting authentic Polynesian and tiki artifacts, a year and a half of construction, a couple of different iterations, and endless planning and reshaping—all in an effort to create the perfect tiki bar.

“My tiki bar in my home is the escape pod,” he says. “At the end of the day, you go in there and you’re not anywhere else. It’s not necessarily back in time, it’s out of time. It’s its own place, its own world that you can go to whenever you want. It’s usually quiet, stressing conversation over the typical bar, which is loud and rowdy. It’s a place where you can reconnect with your friends or your spouse or whoever, and just unwind.”

***

Before you enter the Hideaway, you should remember that Swanky is a tiki purist. Though he claims not to be offended by the bastardized tiki products found at, say, Party City, you can tell he’s gritting his teeth.

“Any mug that has a face on it has been co-opted into being called a tiki mug,” he says wearily. “People like me who are hardcore or purists work hard to make sure that when someone says this is a tiki mug.... it’s not a tiki mug, it has nothing to do with tiki. It’s a mug. It’s not truly tiki. We have to set the record straight. If people are annoyed by that, fine.”

So what you’ll discover in Swanky’s Hideaway is as authentic as any tiki temple that’s ever been. It’s just on a much smaller scale. In back of his house. But that doesn’t diminish the impact of your first view inside.

One moment, you are sweltering in the rain-forest heat of a Knoxville summer well into the crazy age of global warming. The next moment, you’re inside, and everything is different. The temperature is a third less horrific. There is no sound but soft island music and the piddling of a yet unseen water fountain. No sunlight invades the interior; it will take your eyes a good 10 minutes to adjust to the hidden, low-level glow. And when they do, you’ll lock gazes with a 7-foot tall figure with a grinning mouth, stuck-out tongue, and, well, a sizable penis.

“This is an oratory table from the Korogo village in Papua New Guinea,” Glazner explains. “It’s 75-85 years old. This was in the men’s house, the council house of the village, as sort of a hero spirit who watched over all official proceedings to keep people straight.”

Much of the room’s décor was sourced from an anthropologist in Bloomington, Ind. who studies Papua New Guinea culture, financing his trips by bringing back cast-off pieces. The Headhunter Lounge (opposite the bar) is filled with primitive masks and figures entirely lacking in kitsch value, looking more like museum pieces. But then there are the vintage mugs and artworks from classic tiki bars that populate several shelves, plus items from original tiki bar supplier Oceanic Arts, still in business. A vintage tiki figure by well known artist Milan Guanko was discovered in a West Knoxville antiques store. Other pieces by contemporary tiki artists with names like Thor, Basement Kahuna, Tiki Diablo, and Crazy Al Evans were purchased directly, and adorn every available surface. Glazner’s wife, Stephanie Romer, has a predilection for shrunken heads.

“I’ve always liked vintage stuff, too—clothes, shirts, things like that,” Romer says. “Now I can tell the difference between a new Hawaiian shirt and the good ones. The material is completely different for the old shirts, they were made of bark cloth, which is hard to find and really expensive. That’s fun part of it. Before it was like you’d just wander through an antique store and look around; now it’s like a game—he goes one direction and I go the other, and we see who can find something first.”

Despite the array of artifacts, the small room does not feel crowded. As it comes into focus, it is the bar that dominates. And it is here that Glazner’s true art is pursued.

“I’m making all of my drinks by hand, from scratch. You’re not going to get one any better, because no bar is going to go to those standards,” he declares. “That’s not bragging, it’s just that I’m fresh-squeezing everything, getting the best possible ingredients, and carefully measuring the drink exactly to the recipe.”

Chip Vassey, Glazner’s next-door neighbor, is a former bartender himself and a tiki-drink convert, courtesy of Swanky. “I’m kind of glad this is about the only place to get drinks like this, ’cause honestly, there would be some real bad-off people,” he attests.

Glazner’s dedication to the cocktail knows few bounds. He lobbies local liquor stores to stock allspice dram, a standard in many tiki drinks. He makes his own falernum, a sweet syrup that’s also spicy. One of the few liquors he can’t find locally is Lemon Hart 151 Demerara Rum from Guyana, a staple of tiki drinks, which he is working on getting onto Knoxville shelves. (“Most people know Bacardi 151, which I’d sooner suck juice out of a dirty sock—it’s horrible,” he attests.) But he says most of the proper ingredients for great tiki drinks could be stored in a milk crate; the bigger problem is that many drinkers don’t know what they’re missing, though the mixology movement is helping change that.

“Most people are used to highballs, and that’s the standard today: some booze with some mixer, and that’s it,” he says. “That decline of the cocktail started in the ’70s and continued on. Vodka became king, which is an odorless, colorless, tasteless beverage—nothing good is going to come of that. The martini craze kind of helped get people back into the notion of making a real cocktail instead of a highball or a shooter. Now more and more places are offering what they call craft cocktails, and tiki has been making craft cocktails since the beginning.”

But more than simply better ingredients and personal attention, you get the sense that tiki cocktails are tantamount to an expression of personal philosophy for Glazner. For him—and, he believes, most others, if they would just try it—a perfect tiki cocktail is the stuff of life.

“I think it’s true for a lot of people: The highlights of my day are the things I consume,” he muses over a Jasper, created by Jasper LaFrance of the Bay Rock Hotel in Montego Bay, Jamaica, circa 1970s. “That first cup of coffee in the morning, I look forward to that and it tastes so good. The cocktail after work—that’s the best thing about work, it drives me to drink.

“Beverages are a big part of the best things in life. And when you make a good drink...”

The tiki gods smile.

A Jasper, originally created by Jasper LaFrance of the Bay Rock Hotel in Montego Bay, Jamaica, circa 1970s.

Photo by David Luttrell

A Jasper, originally created by Jasper LaFrance of the Bay Rock Hotel in Montego Bay, Jamaica, circa 1970s.

Corrected: The spelling of "Beachbum Berry," and the actual year of the Kahiki closing party—2000, not 2002.

© 2012 MetroPulse. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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