Head Coach Football, University of Tennessee
“The Head Coach of Football is responsible for initiating various aspects of the Football program, such as recruiting 2* and 3* players, training them from time to time, and attempting to not break NCAA rules, especially while on ESPN cameras (Looking at you, LK). The Head Coach of Football is required to abide by the rules and regulations established [by] the NCAA, unless he holds a bbq at his house, in which case that never happened and you’ve never seen that player before if anyone asks. This is a full-time, twelve-month position for most. That said, if you have won a national title in any sport at any time, you can work part-time, six months a year, while eating bonbons, for at least eight years after said title.”
—a Dec. 5 job listing posted on Craigslist (now removed) by “DH.” Two days later, Butch Jones was hired.