Think food fights only take place under the dingy lights of junior high cafeterias? Think drunken drama is limited to the lives of those obnoxious 20-somethings on MTV’s Jersey Shore? Well, a report from the Knoxville Police Department suggests you should cease your ageism and think again.
Last Thursday, two friends—one 59 years old, the other 66—threw a tea party so raucous that even the Mad Hatter would approve. The 59-year-old female, who was at her friend’s house for a visit, provoked the incident by talking about her friend’s late husband. In response, the 66-year-old (aka, “Dottie”) drenched her uppity young companion in tea. A food fight ensued. The conflict ended peacefully, however, with the two women hugging and making up.
But it didn’t end there. According to police reports, the women had been drinking more than just tea—Dottie “a beer or two” and her friend a toddy. Thus, while escorting her fellow bacchanalian out the door, Dottie tripped, wobbled, and—grabbing on for dear life—brought her friend down with her. This “friend,” who police report was quite intoxicated, called the cops in retaliation.
Police say the 59-year-old did suffer minor injuries, but noted that she “seemed more concerned about trying to mediate the situation with her friend than with making a report.”