The Game Is Afoot

The Knoxville Police Department received a call on Monday, July 13, from a Northwest Knoxville man who believes he has undergone a series of attempts on his life... made by rattlesnakes... acting as tools of a criminal conspiracy.

Both incidents occurred late last year, one in September at his apartment, and one in November at a nearby motel. Both times the man reported being bitten on his feet and legs; and once, he said, he believes he heard a rattling sound. He did not report ever having actually seen a snake, nor did he explain why he waited almost eight months to report the alleged attacks. It seems it could have been a paralyzing fear of the immense powers of his pursuers.

The man told police that he believes the snakes may be related to his testimony in a criminal trial, presumably acting as unknowing agents of a nefarious Moriarty-like puppetmaster who sits behind the curtains of Knoxville’s criminal underworld silently pulling the strings. Dance, Knoxville, dance! You will never catch the Invisible King!

The police gave the man a report number and promised to pursue an investigation into what this newspaper is officially dubbing, The Adventure of the Tennessee Death Rattle.

Compiled by Charles Maldonado and Bailey Swilley

© 2009 MetroPulse. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Comments » 0

Be the first to post a comment!

Share your thoughts

Comments are the sole responsibility of the person posting them. You agree not to post comments that are off topic, defamatory, obscene, abusive, threatening or an invasion of privacy. Violators may be banned. Click here for our full user agreement.

Comments can be shared on Facebook and Yahoo!. Add both options by connecting your profiles.