Last Free Man Condemns Animal Statuary, Bathroom Protocol

In which this scene terrifies me. Two neighbors in a North Knoxville apartment building told police that on the night of Jan. 21, they had been sitting in their respective homes quietly when a man began pounding violently on one of their doors. His reasons for doing this were not clear to anyone save himself and his personal deity. So, of course, the door remained unopened, as the man inside yelled at him to go away. This went on for several minutes before the knocking man gave up, apparently, and began kicking and pounding on the other’s door. When it also went unanswered, the man decided he’d had enough and kicked the door in. He then entered the apartment and began tearing it apart, taking out several ceramic goose statues in his frenzied thrashing. To end out the performance, the man finally dropped his pants and urinated on the floor.

Kate McClaskey contributed to this story.

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