How do you choose locations for the MetroGnome photo shoots?
Fate chooses where I show up. Fate has a camera.
It’s kind of surprising that there aren’t more lawn settings...
My whole life prior to this has been sitting in front of Lumpy Lambert’s lawn and I got tired of being used for shooting practice. No more lawns for me!
Is there a story behind your parents naming you “Metro”? Or did you have to have it changed legally later?
It’s a nickname, because of all the attention I pay to my beard. The gels, the combing, the manicuring... Not to mention my jaunty vest. I’m totally a metro gnome.
Do you have veto power on unflattering photos of yourself?
There are never unflattering photos of myself.
So, are you originally from Alaska?
I was made in China, but I get your little joke.
Do you ever try to make it easier by still being at the spot after the “spot the MetroGnome” photo’s been published?
Oh, never! I wouldn’t be caught dead in the same place twice.
What’s your best side when being photographed?
My backside. But the photographer always wants my frontside.
It’s awkward to mention, but aren’t you, um, a little large for one of your kind?
Why thank you!
Do your friends and family try to get you to reveal the location to them ahead of time so they can win one of the coveted prizes from the editor’s office schwag?
I have no friends. Or family. I am a gnome.