In which a perfectly good crime is once again fouled up by an attention-starved child. On the evening of Friday, July 18, employees at a lingerie store at Knoxville Center Mall reported a disturbance. The alleged perpetrator, a young woman, had taken a large amount of items into a dressing room, where she stayed inside for several hours. It turns out she was there to steal some underwear, say police, and the employees may never have noticed, except the woman had taken her three-month-old child with her. The kid was doing his best to draw their scrutiny: screaming continuously, laying flat on his face next to the dressing room (perhaps “going limp” in an act of passive resistance to the crime), and, according to the manager’s statement to the police, “disrupting the store’s ability to conduct business.” When officers arrived, they found the woman sitting on the floor of the dressing room disoriented and slurring her words. They did not, however, immediately manage to locate the items the woman had taken in with her. After a brief search, they were found wrapped in a soiled diaper and placed inside a diaper bag. Unsurprisingly, the store allowed them to be handed over to police and did not request they be returned.