Citybeat: World's Fair Park

Sorting Out the World’s Fair Park

A City Council workshop drags on,

Sorting Out the World’s Fair Park

SEVEN DAYS IN JULY

Wednesday, July 13 • Hundreds of Knoxvillians buy $60 tickets to a “benefit screening” of the upcoming Dukes of Hazzard film at a local theater. Some of us, however, feel we’ll benefit lots more by staying home and keeping our 60 bucks.

Thursday, July 14 • Federal agents break up an operation that procured driver’s licenses here for undocumented aliens in New Jersey. Now if only the feds could do something about all the documented idiots who are issued driver’s licenses in Tennessee.

Friday, July 15 • Reports claim that state House Speaker Jimmy Naifeh costs the legislature an extra $27,000 per year for a security escort who follows him on trips and waits for him between meetings. Geez, for 27 grand, we could find the Speaker an escort whose services are a lot more comprehensive.

Saturday, July 16 • Daycare officials in Memphis hold demonstrations to teach their employees how to ensure that no more children will be locked in hot daycare vans on sweltering summer days by doing headcounts. Here’s a novel idea: Why not hire daycare workers who know how to count in the first place?

Sunday, July 17 • A Tennessean reporter finds that sexual harassment charges connected to the governor’s office are handled differently from harassment charges in other government departments. We figure it must be because governor’s office employees are fondled differently from employees in other departments.

Monday, July 18 • After arresting a Church Hill, Tenn. resident allegedly in possession of an arsenal of 200 weapons, federal officials describe the man as a “gun fanatic.” We think maybe it was the rocket launcher in the garage that finally clued them in.

Tuesday, July 19 • Former University of Tennessee quarterback Heath Shuler declares his intent to mount a campaign for a U.S. congressional seat in North Carolina. We hear he’s really good at passing legislation.

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