Neighborhood Issues, School Superintendent, TDOT

Neighborhood in a FIX?

Residents fear repercussions from TDOT blasting

Harold’s Deli Locks Up

Neighborhood in a FIX?

 

Harold’s Deli Locks Up

SEVEN DAYS

Wednesday, July 6 • Knox County School Superintendent Charles Lindsey suggests deep cuts to the school system’s proposed budget for 2005-06. We’re not saying Lindsey’s cuts are too drastic, but we understand that he wants to make dumpster diving a component of the school system’s free lunch program next year.

Thursday, July 7 • State Rep. Chris Newton, recently indicted on bribery charges, refuses to resign his seat after consulting with “opinion leaders” in his home district. We understand that the foremost of Newton’s “opinion leaders” also advised him to mow the lawn, take out the trash, and stop watching so much damned ESPN.

Friday, July 8 • A 58-year-old Hamilton County resident is accused of spanking two 19-year-old girls who were his employees at a business that sells flavored ice treats. In unrelated news, scores of middle-aged businessmen are inexplicably opening snow-cone parlors all over the state.

Saturday, July 9 • A lawsuit in Nashville alleges that a woman in Murfreesboro contracted a toe infection from a pedicure at a local salon. We here at MP’s “Seven Days” know from personal experience that toe infections can be pretty ugly; they’re particularly common among those of us who spend a lot of time with our foot in our mouth.

Sunday, July 10 • In a News Sentinel story about obscenity laws, a local anti-porn crusader says that pornography is all about “money and greed and covetousness.” We thought it was all about Vaseline, dirty pictures, and spending too much time in the men’s room. But we defer.

Monday, July 11 • According to court documents, Campbell County sheriff’s deputies who were recorded in the act of allegedly pummeling and torturing a local drug dealer claim the drug dealer himself was mostly at fault. We sympathize with the deputies; we understand their feet took an awful beating from the alleged victim’s groin.

Tuesday, July 12 • A state Court of Appeals ruling blocks Vanderbilt University from changing the name of its Confederate Memorial Hall in the interest of promoting racial diversity. Serves those Vandy liberals right. Next thing you know, those snooty !@#$s will wanna put toilet paper in the coloreds-only restrooms.

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