Cracking Down on Cockfighting

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Wednesday, June 29 • A Humane Society official says he informed the Cocke County Sheriff’s Department of illegal cockfighting in Del Rio several months before the feds shut down the operation. The sheriff responds that he couldn’t raid the cockfighting ring until a.) he had solved the county’s drug problems; and b.) he’d paid off his marker.

Thursday, June 30 • The News Sentinel reports that Knoxville taxpayers may be hit with a bill for damages to a Papermill Road video store that closed after continual harassment about its back room by city police. Don’t know about you, but there’s nothing that ticks us off more than paying for porn we never got to watch.

Friday, July 1 • In federal court, a U.S. district attorney accuses a paraplegic Union County man of dealing drugs, conspiracy to commit murder, gun crime and resisting arrest. The man’s attorney says his client is innocent, and that federal officials are only picking on the poor guy because he can’t (Eeek!) stand up for himself.

Saturday, July 2 • Federal officials announce that they have uncovered rampant criminal activity in Cocke County, such as drug trafficking, gambling, chop shops, hijacking, corruption and prostitution. Further revelations may be forthcoming, including new evidence concerning that whole round-earth theory, as well as some disturbing news about the Easter Bunny.

Sunday, July 3 • The Hamilton County sheriff suspends his second-in-command for 30 days for having an “inappropriate relationship” with his secretary. We’re not going to pass judgment on this one. At least not until we’ve seen the secretary.

Monday, July 4 • City Council considers new rules to govern the renaming of city streets after people, including requirements that such honorees display effective citizenship, ethics, excellent character and a good reputation. In other words, our streets will only be named after people that nobody’s ever heard of.

Tuesday, July 5 • A Cocke County sheriff’s deputy resigns his post, then pleads guilty to federal charges that he moonlighted as a cocaine dealer. We didn’t doubt the accusation, but we did think the feds were confused about what constituted his primary employment.

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