Jack Neely ain't right about kickin' out the Knox County law director [Secret History, June 14, 2009]. I say county oughtta keep the feller 'cause ain't nobody can out-crook the crookedy elected talent like the crookedyest of crooks, watchin' out for the public interest, of course. Besides, even crooks deserve some honest work—'specially lawyers—and there's plenty room at the trough for one more. Heck, I wouldn't be ascaird to buy a used car off him. So, let's give this crook a crack at bat and if pantywaist Neely don't like it, he can lumpy it 'cause I'm right and he's left and probably a dadgum crook, too.
Ole Joe-Don Tom-Bob Acree, Knoxpatch
P.S.—Thankyuh to Miz Betty Bean for the extry-big write-up on my idol, Cas Walker. ["Cas Walker: Hillbilly Colossus," June 14, 2009]. Big is good, but, sorry neighbors, thars a one trunkload limit on them canned yams per customer/sucker.