Neely Inspires Umbrage

In the March 18 Secret History, darn ole Jack Neely sez, "We are among the fattest, dumbest, and sickest of Americans." [Ed. Note: The original sentence is actually, "We're used to hearing we're among the fattest, dumbest, and sickest of all Americans."] As a proud native of this fine state, I take deep umbrage at that crack, since I ain't fat or sick, and pert near almost done graduated from high skool. I reckon Neely's been up in D.C. with the likes of Nancy Pelosi and Barney Frank gettin' brainwashed by Yankee propagander. So, Mister Neely, don't be surprised if on your next visit down at the City-Country-County Building lobby, hometown security officers whip out a WMD sigmoido-can-cam-scrutinizer all back up somebody's hiney. Maybe one o' them ice bombs in thar.

Ole Joe-Don Tom Bob Acree


PS: Better pack some extry paper napkins.