First Crick shore is a shameful mess—Knoxville oughtta git that cleaned up. Storm-drain trooper Holly Haworth is real lucky to survive that slog, 'cause its awful dangerous back up in thar. My ole Uncle Alvis told me 'bout the time he went wadin' in thar huntin' some snow tars fer his pick-up truck and pert near got bit by the most meanest varmint on Earth—a crockigator. This thing's got the head of a alligator on one end and the head of a crockidile on the other end. Two heads, no tail. If you be wonderin' how it takes a dump, it caint. That's why it's so mean. At least, it don't funk up the water with fecal coliform like them dirty ducks 'n' folks upstream. So, you darn kids don't go playin' 'round First Crick—that crockigator'll gitchee.
Believe it, or else.
Ole Joe Don Tom Bob Acree