Dear Pink Lady,
I work in a small business with about 20 people. Everyone pretty much gets along with one another, but I'm having a real problem with one particular fellow. He is loud, obnoxious, and doesn't seem to get any work done. (This is quantifiable by a weekly report). Basically, he acts like an adult baby who vomits out every obnoxious thought in his loathsome head, stomping around the office using every expletive he can think of.
I've talked about this guy to other people, but I seem to be the only one bothered by the guy. Others might overlook his insufferable behavior, but it makes we want to rip out my mouse and strangle him with the cord.
I'm writing you because I figure you'll tell me to drink at work, and I need someone to tell me to do that.
—Please Let Me Drink at Work in Secret
Dear Day Drinker,
Ah, the annoying coworker—that one person whose presence can utterly ruin what is otherwise a perfect workplace. The Pink Lady has had her fair share of those, but there has only been one situation in which she was the only person in the office (a much larger one, for the record) who found the person's actions objectionable. (In that case, bordering on the verge of sexual harassment.) It's a lonely position to be in, because the whole point of annoying coworkers is having an excuse to go out for drinks—after work—with the coworkers you do like in order to complain about the one you all can't stand. But if your supervisor sees that the fellow isn't getting any work done but still hasn't fired him, perhaps he has other winning capabilities of which you are not aware. And if not, just keep your fingers crossed that one day he will get canned.
Until then, it's best to just keep your office door closed when he's around (or your headphones on if you just have a cubicle) and occasionally make an "Orange Julius" to remind yourself to be thankful that at least you aren't working at a fast food joint in the mall with a joker of a boss. (After work hours, feel free to top the smoothie off with some rum, but the Pink Lady can't condone drinking on the job.)
The Pink Lady
1/2 can frozen orange juice concentrate (3 oz.)
1/2 c. milk
1/2 c. water
1/4 c. sugar
1/2 t. vanilla
5-6 ice cubes
Combine in blender, and blend until smooth. Serve immediately. Serves three.
This week's drink is from Gardeners' Gourmet II (Jackson, Miss., 1985)
Have a problem in need of a solution? Have a drink in need of a problem? You have a drink, what's the problem? (Unless you have a drinking problem, in which case sherbet punch, followed by AA, is the solution. Because sherbet punch makes even the most serious problems happy.) E-mail our columnist at: