Uppity Women

It's time to do something about women running around town after dark

In perusing more than 500 comments on the News Sentinel website in regard to the soap opera that is the Amy-Josh Vandergriff marriage and the parking lot beat-down, it is clear that government action is required. We need to do what the people want. We need to let the people vote. We need to stop using representative government to stifle the will of the people.

County clerk candidate Vandergriff and a male co-worker were assaulted by her jealous husband, sending them both to emergency rooms for treatment and sending him to jail. (He's been there before.) The story prompted more citizen participation than any public hearings we have had on charter changes, thus one has to recognize the will of the people.

From the tone of the comments it is clear that at the next meeting of County Commission the following charter changes need to be passed and put on the ballot to prevent another Amy Vandergriff incident from happening.

Be it resolved:

• Women in Knoxville will no longer be allowed out in public after dark.

• A woman may no longer ride in a car with a man who is not her husband. (Note to Law Director: Check with Saudi Arabia for a copy of this one; they have had it for years.)

• Women will be required to wear burqas when in public. (No need to be harsh and require head-to-toe basic black. We need to allow some nice pastel colors. After all, this is America.)

I know some of you feminists out there will object to this, but you have to understand that this isn't Berkeley. It's Knoxville. Women have been getting uppity for some time now, even here. It can only lead to tragedy. Here young Josh Vandergriff, an upstanding fitness instructor, trying to get on with his life after failing to sell 1,000 pounds of marijuana, has been arrested and charged with abusing his wife and assaulting her co-worker. Under the guidelines of the proposed charter changes, none of this would have happened.

After all, according to most of the comments, ol' Josh only did what a man has to do when his wife is getting a free car ride. And it was after dark. And did I mention the driver of the car was not her husband?

Amy Vandergriff's campaign is in a shambles. It makes you wonder if we ought to reconsider having women in public office. In reading the comments on past County Commission meetings, for example, a recurring theme has to do with the hair and makeup of women County Commissioners. The public discourse sometimes evolves into whether one of them is a "babe" or not.

Now, I never see a comment about Scott Moore's new suit or Tank Strickland's new figure due to his weight loss. Where's the commentary on hunks like William Daniels and Mark Campen? Obviously it is the women who are a distraction.

Victoria DeFreese and Elaine Davis are pressing for reforms of county government with measures to eliminate political cronies and nepotism. They are asking good questions and are putting some of their male colleagues to shame. Unfortunately the sunshine law prevents them from sharing their ideas and having them introduced by a male colleague, so as to allow the women to sit in the back and keep their mouths shut.

Again, the burqa would be invaluable in this situation and it would prevent Knoxnews.com comment-writers from getting distracted from the issues.

The front page of The New York Times last week carried a story about news executives examining whether there is sexism involved in the coverage of women in politics, and specifically Hillary Clinton's run for president.

The article noted the Washington Post story on Hillary's cleavage, the Times story about her "cackle," and MSNBC quotes comparing her to "a first wife standing outside probate court," her tone which suggests "take out the garbage," and her sounding shrill.

But the news executives concluded there was no sexism involved in the coverage.

I think it can best be summarized as: "Nah, we just didn't like the bitch." m